I originally posted this on both my Tumblr and Facebook accounts last Monday. I figured that since not all my friends and family members don’t get to check out my blog that often (I’m sure they’re not even aware that I do have a blog), it would be best that I share something with them that I’m going through personally.
My day started at 12 AM today, coming home after meeting up with college friends. My sleeping hours have been erratic lately and more or less, I fall asleep when the sun is almost up. On one hand, I know this is bad because my anemia can just have its presence felt at anytime and knock me out cold. On the other hand, everybody knows an idle mind is the devil’s playground and hence, it is better to do something productive when both my mind and body feel restless.
So I started my day chatting with someone I don’t really get the chance to speak to. Although the motive was different from the other person’s end, everything went well. I figured perhaps I’ve build myself a wall back then which didn’t allow me to see what else is out there and most of all, it didn’t allow me to see the goodness of others. As I’ve mentioned to my friends, it seems like I am not only at the bottom of the wheel these days, but also, it seems like the wheel has gotten itself stuck on a muddy, almost-impossible-to-cross-to road. But then I realized, is my situation so terrible that I can’t help others? Am I dying? Am I suffering from severe pain that if I choose to move, I would lose everything? Perhaps I’ll lose something, but NOT everything.
And so what I did next was turn off my laptop, read today’s scripture, and prayed. But since my mind has been incoherent lately, it trails off to places it has long been comfortable with. And so my focus disappeared, as well as the continuation of my prayer. If there’s one thing I’ve learned after watching “The Impossible” with my dad and sisters a week ago, it would be that the human spirit’s will to survive is definitely much stronger than anything else–may it be a personal trauma or a tsunami. The human spirit knows no boundaries. It knows THINGS WILL GET BETTER. I didn’t want my thoughts to win so I started reading out loud a chapter of a book my mom gave me last Christmas, containing biblical verses and powerful quotes from authors on the wonders of joy. I made sure I heard it, I made sure my mind understood it, I made sure my heart felt it.
So here’s the thing: you will get stuck at one point in your life. It is inevitable. But you always have the option to stay there or do something about it. In my case, I choose the latter. My family and friends have been so kind helping me rise up again. They can only do so much. The rest is up to you. Also, it is wrong of me to associate myself with a wheel, because that would mean other people would do the heavy lifting for me so that I can serve my purpose. A wheel has no life, it didn’t choose to be stubborn or hardheaded when it got stuck on the muddy road. Wheels are meant to roll to get something somewhere. We can be like that too, but the difference is we were given the privilege to roll with the punches as they go. Inspiration starts with oneself. And so, let us all be strong.
I bid you all a good day! 🙂